Morning school time then extra-curricular activities and coaching from afternoon to night. Rushing children through their childhood phase is a very bad idea. It is bad parenting actually. But how do we know if the kid doesn’t want to do something? As Dr. Koplewicz says, “If the child becomes too distressed or shows a behavioral dysfunction, chances are that you have gone too far.” 

Don’t force the child to do something they don’t want to do. It could be age-related or developmental-related. Sometimes it could be not suitable for their personality traits.

Why do we push our children?

Basically, we think it will help them explore the world by being out of their comfort zone. In our bid to try and do something good, we might be harming them. It is good to challenge the children in a way that their confidence grows but you need to take into consideration how your child actually is.

How can we minimise the risk of pushing too much?

• Think about your child’s personality
• Reflect first on why you want to push them into the extracurricular activities
• What kind of activities would be best suitable for them?
• Analyze whether they detest the activity or whether there are other peer member problems or problems with the mentor or coach.  
• Factor in their age and level of maturity
• You can also introduce rewards as motivators

You know your child the best so if your child keeps refusing to participate in any activity whatsoever find out whether it is a behavioural issue or a learning disability that’s putting them in a problematic zone.

Why sometimes pushing is necessary?

• It is a way to nudge the child to do something new or different
• It gets the children to do things that challenge them
• It develops the flexibility aspect of learning
• It widens their exposure to the world
• It gives them opportunity to try out new things
• It gives them a sense of accomplishment

Pushing and encouraging are two different things so remember how you need to keep the balance. Also we need to factor in and analyse as parents whether we are pushing them because we believe they can do it or are we pushing them for ourselves. A lot of times as parents we try to push our own unmet desires and dreams and force our children to take it up. If this is the case then we need to stop letting it happen for it can damage the psyche of the children in the long run.